


Shut the Fuck up and Eat Your Overpriced Noodles

by cryme_anocean



Series: All the Things He is and isn't [4]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Swearing, homosexual themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2014-07-02
Packaged: 2018-02-07 05:07:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1886214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryme_anocean/pseuds/cryme_anocean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What the fuck do you wanna do with my jizz, then?"<br/>"Stick it in some bitch and get her pregnant."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shut the Fuck up and Eat Your Overpriced Noodles

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Unbeta'd

They're taking a walk through the park ( _that sounds so gay Gallagher, we're checking to make sure the neighborhood is safe_ ) when a little girl about five years old comes running into Mickey's leg. She's screaming and crying and her obviously flustered mother is trying to catch her. When she bumps into Mickey, she falls into her butt, still screaming and crying. Her mother scoops her into her arms, "I'm so sorry, I don't know what got into her." But before they could respond—Ian to assure her it was okay and Mickey to bitch—she's gone.  
  
"I hate kids." Mickey announces the second they get back to their apartment.  
  
"Really?" Ian licks his lips and shrugs off his—Mickey's—sweatshirt.  
  
"Did you not see that little devil child? Fuckin hate em."  
  
"I want kids." Ian kinda blurts.  
  
"The fuck you talkin bout?"  
  
"I really do."  
  
Now, Ian's only eighteen. They've _just_ moved in together. He's too young to be thinking about kids. Besides, isn't bi-the-fuck-ever genetic? "What would be the purpose of a kid?"  
  
Ian doesn't answer. Mickey knows he doesn't have one.  
-  
"If we used a surrogate who looks just like you, it would be like we actually had kids."  
  
"The fuck did you just say to me?"  
  
"I said-"  
  
"No I heard you. I'm giving you a chance to rethink what you said and then _not fucking say it_."  
  
"Why are you so against having a kid?"  
  
"Why are you so for it?"  
  
"I just…" He doesn't answer.  
-  
"I'd want to use your sperm."  
  
"What the hell are you going on about now, Gallagher?"  
  
"I want to use your sperm for the baby. I'd want it to have your blue eyes."  
  
"I swear to god, Ian, I am done talking about us having a kid."  
  
"But you're twenty years old. Isn't that the age people start thinking about that stuff?"  
  
"We're not fuckin husband and wife, here. We're not having a kid."  
  
"You gonna call me a warm mouth, too?"  
-  
"I want to use yours." Mickey says. They're eating dinner at some fancy fuckin restaurant for their two year wedding anniversary when Mickey finally grows a pair and brings it up.  
  
"My what for what?" Ian looks good. His red hair is longer, a little shaggy so his bangs sometimes graze at his eyelashes and sometimes covers the tips of his ears. His suit is tailored so that whenever he turns around, Mickey sees that it hugs him in all the right places. Perks of having a gay tailor.  
  
"Your, uh, sperm.  
  
Ian's lip twitches, "The fuck you gonna do with it? Keep it in a bottle and guzzle it when you miss me?"  
  
"As if I'd ever miss you, you fucktwat."  
  
"What do you wanna do with my jizz then?"  
  
"Stick it in some bitch and get her pregnant."  
  
Ian grins that shit eating grin that somehow grew on him. "Knew you'd come around."  
  
"Shut the fuck up and eat your overpriced noodles, Gallagher."

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!  
> Feel free to send me prompts. My tumblr is anoldmarriedcouple


End file.
